Today, unfortunately, there are more friends around us who are divorced than those who form a happy family. But sad is when in the middle, between two people who once were happy parents, is a child. A small man's soul that is divided between the mother's house and the father's house. Sometimes even between two families.
How do we live as divorced princes? How do we make good for our baby? There are questions I wanted to find an informed opinion. That's why I talked to psychologist Dorina Stamate of the Clinic of Happiness. Here's what the specialist told us about these topics so sensitive today and can always!
Divorce or separation of two people means breaking the marital relationship and not the parental relationship. The partner out of the relationship will continue to be the parent for the child. For example, if we are the parent with whom the child is left, we must allow the other to be present in our child's life. If we are the parent who does not have custody of the child we will have to be part of the child's life. The child needs to know that he is still loved and accepted, the psychologist told us.
But reality is not ideal for most children
The therapist says that parents often use their children to maintain a conflict with their former partner. Or to maintain a fictitious relationship with the former partner. This means that the labor of mourning related to divorce has not been done, and that situation sends us to much older personal injuries.
Each member of a separated couple will have to take care of the relationship with the former partner. A relationship that allows for dialogue, communication, making it possible to meet the two for the child to participate in events in the child's life. More specifically, it is ideal for both to be present at holidays, birthdays, sports competitions, etc. the therapist told us.
Moreover, the psychologist says that women should take care of their maternal relationship with their child. To continue to be a mother without trying to replace the father of the children, to speak in his name. Or criticize, disqualify or amplify it.
In the case of men, the paternal relationship with the child will have to keep in mind that if he can not see children than occasionally avoid getting rid of the size of his father rewarding. It is very tempting to appear as a permissive father and friend with his children when he sees them only two weekends per month, Dorina Stamate said.
Consequently, all parents, divorced or not, exist to meet the needs of the children. But there is not to satisfy all the desires of the children. In addition, we must remember that little ones should not be used for the princes to overcome their guilt of ending the couple.