Certainly many of us know people around whom we do not feel at ease. Intuition tells us that something is wrong, even if at the surface level we do not know exactly what makes us feel that way.
We talk about toxic people with some dysfunctional behaviors that are inflexible in terms of change.
The four patterns of conflicting people
Everyone has at one point a bad day or a whole period of trouble, but how do we realize we're talking about toxic people?
How do you deal with toxic people?
First of all, although it is not simple and requires workout, it is important to keep your balance and have a respectful, empathetic attitude so that the other can take on your example. In the human brain there are some "mirror" neurons that copy the condition and behavior of the person you are facing in front of. Kindness draws courtesy, and if you feel the other does not change, and continue to behave inappropriately, reinterpret the situation. Think about it's emotional and that you are not responsible for how others feel, especially if you have done everything you can to balance yourself.
Secondly, give the other the feeling of being in control of the situation and has more options to choose from. For example, if someone asks for a helping hand, and for you is not a good time, they do not refuse the first but mention that at that time you only have a few minutes or more time at a later time. And ask the other to choose. People feel more comfortable when they have control or when they have the freedom to make decisions.
Third, and perhaps most importantly, for your mental health, you start putting limits on others and expressing it clearly, but a diplomat who can tolerate and what not. If you can not say "NO" and it is difficult to put yourself first for various personal reasons (you have a fear of rejection, you consider the needs of the other are more important than yours, etc.) you can feel emotionally exhausted at at some point, without realizing the concrete cause.
If you have so far engaged in an unhealthy way for you with the people who have consumed you emotionally, it is not too late to make a change for the better. Remember that you are your safest investment and that if you are well in the interior, your relationships will also harmonize.
Because it is not a simple and quick process, you can call on a mental health specialist to help you make these changes easier in order to have a better life. Better late than never!
Delia Bebi is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, specializing in the evaluation and therapy of the child, adult and couple.
Specializations: therapy for depression, anxiety, stress, burnout, communication.
0729 743 734