What to expect a couple after the baby appears. Details that no one tells you, how long will your intimate life change

The birth of a child brings tremendous joy to the life of any couple, but in addition to the endless happiness, there are also some important changes in the lives of the two parents.

These changes not only affect individuals but also affect the whole relationship. With the baby coming into the world, all the mother’s care and attention go to the little one, and the father is neglected.

In the opinion of the well-known sexologist Gabriela Mar, the pregnancy and the birth of a child are often very exhausting for the woman, and in this situation, it is possible for the mother to have difficulties in finding a balance between the baby’s permanent needs and the relationship with his partner.

“Often, after the birth of a child, couples encounter problems in restoring intimacy and normal sexual life. In the post-natal period, there are many factors that affect the sexual life of the couple, and the physiological and hormonal changes that appear in the woman’s body can be overwhelming for mom, “says sexologist Gabriela Mar.

The factors that unbalance the sexual life of new parents

The couple’s relationship specialist says that sexual life after birth can be affected by the following factors:

The woman’s body needs time to recover from birth

“In the first post-natal phase (the first six weeks), almost all women find a considerable decrease in sexual desire. Incisions caused by episiotomy or abdominal cilia caused by cesarean need about 4-6 weeks to heal completely. The fresh mother has the feeling of an inflamed abdomen, and this leads to a lack of interest in sex. Besides, during this period known as the period of the jaw, sex is forbidden, “explains sexologist Gabriela Mar.

Post-natal depression (in some women)

“Symptoms can be irritability, unusual impulsivity, permanent tiredness and difficulty attaching to the newborn. Any woman with these symptoms should consult a specialist immediately, “says Gabriela Mar.


“Even though many observers believe it is easy to work, in fact, care for a newborn is a tiring activity. During breastfeeding, sleep is often interrupted and there is a great sleep deprivation that increases the accumulated fatigue. In such moments, the mother’s desire to have sex tends to be secondarily. The need for sleep and rest will be stronger. Women’s perception of their own body changes greatly during pregnancy and in the aftermath. The woman may not feel attractive due to extra pounds or become aware of the changes that have occurred and have hesitations about sex. For these reasons, in order to relax, she must feel comfortable, be cuddled and feel loved and admired by her partner, “says sexologist Gabriela Mar.

Remaining pains

“Women may also have hesitations in resuming sexual life because of residual pain, related to an episiotomy or cesarean surgery. Even after they pass, difficulties arise in connection with excitement or fear of pain, “explains the sexologist.

Genital lubrication

“Sexual intercourse may also be unpleasant due to the lack or decrease of vaginal lubrication caused by breastfeeding. Using a water-based lubricant can eliminate this discomfort. If the fear of pain persists, it is recommended to use a comfortable sex position for the woman. The sex position in which the woman is above gives her more control over penetration, she can continue to intercourse as she wishes or can stop if the discomfort becomes too great, “says Gabriela Mar.

Sexologist’s advice for the sexual life of young parents

Take it slowly! “Prelude is recommended instead of fast-paced sexual intercourse, the couple starts with intimate gestures like kisses and hugs. This will facilitate the transition to sex and will not be intimidating for the woman. Physical intimacy is very important in the life of the couple, helping the transition to a normal sexual life, “explains sexologist Gabriela Mar.

Use contraceptive methods! “One important thing to remember is that a woman who is breastfeeding or whose menstrual cycle has not returned to normal may still become pregnant because ovulation has returned to normal. It is therefore recommended that contraceptive methods be used. Contraceptive pills can be given after the doctor’s advice, as well as estrogen-progesterone combinations. Vaginal sterility should be avoided because it can cause blood clots, “says sexologist Gabriela

Exercise to replenish your vaginal muscles! “Because of the weakening of the vaginal muscles, many couples do not find sex as pleasing as before birth. Women can do Kegel exercises (rhythmic contraction of perineal muscles – pubicoccidians) that contribute to the recovery of vaginal muscles, “says the sexologist.

Adopting a balanced diet! “New mothers should have a balanced, healthy diet and adequate fluid intake. Caring for your own body should be considered as important as caring for the child. Attention must be directed to the state of health and rest. All this can help a mother recover faster, the couple regaining their lost sexual intimacy. The return to normal sexual life should not be rushed. Being a mother is difficult, and the woman must have the necessary time to integrate this extraordinary change in her life, “concludes the sexologist Gabriela Mar.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *